Exploring sex, life & mental health | P.S I Love You | Mind Cafe | Learn how to go from $0 to $1000 in three months on Medium https://pages.matildaswinney.com/

If I can do it, you can do it

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When I run my throat burns. Does anyone else feel like that? Like you can’t actually breathe as you’re running? But not because they’re out of breath. It’s because it hurts to breathe. When it’s a bitterly cold day, it’s worse.

I’m not a natural runner (as you can tell). Perhaps, I could be, but I’ve never given it a proper shot. I remember starting running with my mum when I was 15. We stopped after a few weeks. I tried again at 17 and again at 21. I never lasted longer than a few weeks.

As much as I…


It’s all about the clit

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Now, I’m as surprised as anyone to admit, I’ve become rather partial to oral sex. I’ve previously complained about hating it, so I’m not sure what’s going on.

Let’s get back to the start. Where did it all go so right? Well, it all began with a rare Saturday treat. Me and my partner decided to have a private home party. We bought cocktails, chose a movie on Netflix and forgot about our responsibilities for two hours. It was bliss.

And what was even more beautiful, was the sex that followed. Oral sex was involved. That’s right. You heard it…


And I’m fine with it

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“We haven’t had sex in years though,” my partner explained.

I narrowed my eyes. Was he telling the truth? He made direct eye contact with me as he spoke and settled comfortably into his chair. It didn’t feel like he was lying.

I found myself smiling.

What a funny turn of events. I was now happy with my new boyfriend sleeping in the same bed as another woman, as long as they weren’t having sex.

“Why are you smiling?”

“It’s just funny how things have turned out.”

“I didn’t mean things to be this way. I never could have predicted this.”

I nodded silently…


It’s your ticket to financial freedom

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A lot of people do not enjoy the write every day rule. They may say things like: “Don’t tell me to write every day.”
“I don’t have time.”
“It’s not how I work.”

But, guess what? I’m not buying it. I will not be convinced that “write every day” isn’t a brilliant rule. Take it from the queen of procrastination who took ten years to write a book. If I’d discovered the write every day rule years ago, it would have saved me so much time.

I’m not saying you have to pitch or publish every day. I’m simply saying…


This is how FKA twigs responded when asked why she stayed in a recent interview with Gayle King.

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Recently, FKA twigs, the British singer, spoke to Elle about her abusive relationship with Shia LaBeouf, the American actor. The interviewer describes FKA twigs “sitting cross-legged on the floor of her London home, where she’s been sequestered due to the COVID-19 Tier 4 lockdown. (She) manages to exude a raw vulnerability her audience has come to expect from her.”

During the Zoom interview with Elle, twigs describes the worst times of her almost year-long relationship with LaBeouf.

She talked to Elle because she wants to help other women. She thinks abusive relationships aren’t talked about enough, especially in Hollywood.

And…


For all the sleepyheads out there.

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I am not a morning person. And I can’t imagine I ever will be. I sat on the sofa for a total of 41 minutes this morning mustering the strength to make myself a coffee.

I don’t even feel conscious in the morning. I’ve been known to fall back asleep while getting dressed or turn off my alarm immediately. In the moment of being dragged out of sleep and away from my soft warm duvet, I experience memory loss and forget any reason, legitimate or otherwise, to get up.

I never thought I’d be able to raise my head anytime…


Exploring tightness from all perspectives

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My eyes were tightly closed. The shots and cheap cocktails were finally making their mark. The room was dark and grainy. I could smell a faint scent of leftover pizza in the air mixed with the distinctive aroma of oil paints.

I didn’t need to open my eyes to remember the mess of clothes and Lucozade bottles surrounding us. Instead, I focused on squeezing and pulsing repeatedly, while the guy on top of me did his thing.

My pelvic floor was feeling strong

I tried squeezing for as long as possible to see how long that was. If you’re interested, I would say my record was…


Stepping out into the world again

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“What’s that mama?” my toddler asked me, pointing at a colourful print of Barcelona above our mantlepiece.

I sigh, “that’s Barcelona.”

“What’s Barcelona?”

What’s Barcelona? That was a challenging question for a pre-coffee head at 7 am. So, I kept it simple – a country in Spain. Next, I was asked to explain what a country was. This was way more challenging. Should I go geographical or emotional? Once that was settled, the next question was what do we do in Barcelona? This was easier to answer. I woefully described parties, dancing, sandcastles on the beach and shopping.

“I wanna…


I didn’t write less and I didn’t change publications

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OK, I know what you’re thinking… another blog post on how much someone made on Medium in a few days. Great. But, check again. Read the title back. Oh yes. This article is edgy. This is all about how I more than halved my earnings in three months.

There’s no income spike here or shameless plug. This is the opposite. The thing is, although a loss of earnings is nothing to shout about, I can’t help but do just that. I’m fascinated by my surprise slump. Especially, now it’s going back up, ahem. …


Call me old fashioned…

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“What is he doing?” a midwife said, nudging her co-worker.

In my sweaty haze, I blurrily remember looking up from the hospital bed and seeing my partner walk into the corner like he was a wind-up doll, and someone had pulled his string and let him go. He walked right into that corner and stayed there looking at the wall.

And even among the contractions (which are by the way more painful than walking on hot coals, smashing your head against a brick wall and burning your skin repeatedly with a hot iron), my heart swelled with love.

Wow, I loved him.

My partner…

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