Sign in

Sex, life & mental health | P.S I Love You | Mind Cafe | Find out how to go from 0 to $1k on Medium with my free six-day writing course

And I’m fine with it

Photo by Arun Sharma on Unsplash

“We haven’t had sex in years though,” my partner explained.

I narrowed my eyes. Was he telling the truth? He made direct eye contact with me as he spoke and settled comfortably into his chair. It didn’t feel like he was lying.

I found myself smiling.

What a funny turn of events. I was now happy with my new boyfriend sleeping in the same bed as another woman, as long as they weren’t having sex.

“Why are you smiling?”

“It’s just funny how things have turned out.”

“I didn’t mean things to be this way. I never could have predicted this.”

I nodded silently…

It took a while for me to understand

Photo 153705132 © Sebnem Ragiboglu |

I’ve always been close to my dad. When he still lived with us (me, my brother and my mum) he would get up early every day ready for his commute to work. He said he hated the long drive to work. But one thing cheered him up. Me.

When the house was quiet and the sun hadn’t risen yet, I’d jump out of my bed at 5 am and pad across the carpet to see him. The weak morning light would fill the bathroom as I sat on the toilet seat swinging my legs and chatting about my dreams from…

I wrote less

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

I wrote less. Seriously, that’s the easiest way to get 100% curation. Write two articles and sit back and enjoy your 100%.

Because the truth is, the more you write, the lower your percentage will get, especially if you choose to write about Medium. Medium will never distribute articles about Medium.

However, you and I both know writing two articles isn’t going to bring in the money. Even if you had a 100% distribution rate with two articles, you’d be pinning a lot of hope on those two solitary blog posts.

And why? Why do that when you could increase…

A girl’s perspective on oral sex

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Blowjobs are like the pinnacle of sex. They’re a simple but integral part of becoming an ideal girlfriend. There are three things that will massively boost your chances of being the dream girl:

  • Ask your boyfriend at regular times throughout the day, “would you like a blowjob?”
  • Swallow enthusiastically
  • Practice passionate deep-throating with no qualms about vomiting

Here’s a weird thought. It’s a huge curveball, I’ll admit, and it’s perhaps a bit far out… but, what about the girl? Like, what is she feeling? Is she having fun? Or are blowjobs jaw-achingly boring activities and only done out of duty?

Or stop writing

Photo by Ines Piazzese on Unsplash

OK here’s the deal. If you’ve been struggling with a lack of motivation, finding ideas or gathering together the courage to finally get started with your writing, now’s the time.

This morning I was sitting in our nursery wrapped in a baby blanket (only my upper half, my legs were getting rather cold) waiting for my toddler to fall back to sleep. It was 4.30am and I was feeling inspired. My toddler’s breathing was peacefully rhythmic and the darkness from our black-out blinds allowed my mind to relax.

I thought about the amazing writer Emme Beckett saying she was struggling…

I thought she was a drama queen

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

I stifled a yawn.

I was busy ensuring all the clothes hangers were evenly spaced out at the front of the store. I put my fingers between the hangers. A colleague had shared this tip with me on my first day at All Saints. It made the spacing look just right. I stepped back to admire my work.

My peace was interrupted by my friend. She was still talking.

I tuned in temporarily to see if she was anywhere near finishing. I was feeling edgy. We weren’t supposed to talk while working. My manager was due to come over at…

Is there a secret technique?

Photo 189788488 © Lightfieldstudiosprod |

I haven’t met anyone who’s not a fan of multiple orgasms. Wave after wave of seemingly endless pleasure sounds like a good idea, right?

I’ve always felt unsure about them though. I’m certain they’re amazing, but I’m not so sure about when they’re happening.

Experiencing an endless sea of pleasure makes me think I’m having multiple orgasms. However, I wonder if I’ve simply convinced myself because I want to experience them so much.

There’s so much talk about multiple orgasms, that I understandably want to be part of the club.

However, over time I’ve worked out a way to know…

Increase intimacy and pleasure

Photo by tabitha turner on Unsplash

When any kind of foreplay begins, I take a deep breath and keep totally still, like a squirrel determined not to be seen. I don’t want to distract. If I make the slightest of movements, it could all be over.

And 60 seconds later, it is all over. It’s time for the main feature to begin.

I used to wonder why I wasn’t in the mood during sex or why it would take me longer to orgasm. I would mull over the mystery, unsure whether I was overly stressed or if my sex drive was to blame.

But, the truth…

And increase your motivation

Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

When you arrive on Medium the platform can be intimidating. When I first got here I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Initially, I thought I would write extracts of my book to hopefully drum up excitement.

Very quickly, I realised that was a bad idea.

Medium is for blogging. Sure, you can write erotica, short stories and poetry. And if your aim is to be creative and make connections, then you’ll be doing very well.

But, if your aim is to make money the only way to do it is to jump onto the simple and engaging blogging style…

How to truly let go

Photo by Jorge Fernández on Unsplash

Anal sex has always made me feel nervous. And out of control. I remember warning my first boyfriend, “there could be a lot of mess you know. It won’t be pretty, are you prepared for that?”

I felt angry, angry that my boyfriend would potentially see me in a messy, non-sexy after sex state. It’s one thing having tousled bed hair and smudged makeup… He was asking for a lot more. I would be risking a whole lot more.

I was angry because I felt too vulnerable in our relationship already. I had lost my virginity to him. I had…

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store