I finally published my first book

Photo courtesy of the author

I’ve finally done the unthinkable.

I’ve written a book! AND published it.

It feels like I’ve put a super soft little bunny rabbit in a canon and fired him. There he is, soaring through the Amazon. Will he be OK? Hello novelette, don’t be scared of the trolls, there are lovely readers out there too. I promise.

I’m nervous, but I’m excited too. It would mean the world to me if you supported me and left a review. Here’s the official description:

The Texts Before We Met

Addictive, refreshing and totally compelling. …


Is it the giver or the receiver?

Photo 192819564 / Model © Volodymyr Tverdokhlib | Dreamstime.com

Oral sex makes me squirm. And not in a pleasurable writhing all over the bed kinda way. I mean it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I’m not comfortable with a guy submitting to me. I’ve experienced it but it doesn’t bring me pleasure. Perhaps, I don’t like seeing the vulnerability in their eyes.

I don’t enjoy looking down at a guy as he’s right there between my legs. It makes me feel like a big clumsy queen. I’m ruling but not in a sexy way. I feel like they’re small and fragile, while I’m big and dominating.

But, that’s been flipped…


Details won’t help you move forward

Photo by Alrick Gillard on Unsplash

“Was he bigger than me?”

Yes, screamed my subconscious.

“No,” I shook my head, “no. It wasn’t about that though. I hated every second. That was the point. Every second that went by I just wanted to get out of there. It wasn’t like sex with me and you.”

“Then why did you do it?”

I stared at my boyfriend. That was a good question. Why did I do it? I had no idea what to say. I ignored the lump forming in my throat. It wouldn’t be fair to cry. This was my mess. My fault.

I looked down…


I guess it’s his way of saying thank you

ID 221132878 © Kolapatha Saengbanchong | Dreamstime.com

Ev Williams may have millions of Medium subscribers, but the truth is, I’m his number one. I know he has a calendar and a diary with my Medium writing career mapped out on it. He writes thoughtful notes such as — Matilda’s two year Medium anniversary! Or send Matilda a bonus here and pretend it’s a Medium thing.

And most importantly, make Matilda go viral.

I have proof.

In March 2020, I had been writing on Medium for three months. March was my fourth month. Things had been going well. My monthly earnings had increased from $16 to $1018. I…


Does abstaining from sex make the heart grow fonder?

ID 219070311 | © Nd3000 | Dreamstime.com

I slammed the washing machine door closed. It hung open innocently, goading me. I kicked it hard. It finally closed.

With the house duties done and harmony restored, I sat down on the sofa and shovelled crisps into my mouth without swallowing.

You guessed it, I was stressed. I felt predictable but I couldn’t help my increased irritability.

It happens every few weeks. Everything gets too much and I feel antsy and impatient. And the truth is, it’s down to my sex life. My partner doesn’t believe in having sex every day. …


The truth about noise and pleasure

ID 177495657© Vladyslav Dmytrenko | Dreamstime.com

“Well, it’s safe to say the neighbours heard that one.”

I looked across the room at the open window. There was nothing we could do. It was a super hot Summer’s night. Stuff it.

Besides, our neighbours had been doing a lot of construction work lately. Loud construction work. They had it coming. I didn’t feel bad. Who wouldn’t want to hear the sound of a person having the time of their life on a Friday evening anyway?

The back door was open too so that meant neighbours on both sides of our house had heard us and probably a…


It wasn’t what I wanted to hear

Photo 215965453 / Girl Angry Phone © Vfedorchenko | Dreamstime.com

I was lonely. I didn’t realise how lonely until I heard his voice.

“Yeah this is terminal 2, you can get off here.”

I blushed and tripped over my rucksack as I thanked him. He had intervened during my terrible attempt to speak Thai and I couldn’t be more grateful.

And now this mystery man was insisting on helping me with my luggage. Tears welled in my eyes. I had no idea why I felt so emotional. This guy was kind, sure, but not enough to make me cry.

The truth was, I was homesick. I hadn’t spoken to another…


No pillow talk please

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

I closed my eyes and sunk into the soft cloud of the duvet. A wave of bliss washed over me. I heard myself sigh. It was a long breath. It settled into the deep silence of the room.

There would be no need for talking.

Somehow my partner realized that. He was totally silent. He wasn’t asleep. He had his eyes open. He lay on the bed, looking up at the decorative plaster on the ceiling. I joined him.

I could see lots of tiny angels in the plasterwork.

One thing’s for sure, multiple orgasms really are a wonder of…


Her recent statement is horrifying

ID 154934772Starstock | Dreamstime.com

What goes on behind closed doors is usually a secret. However, for Britney Spears it’s public. And thank god it is. Her recent plea to ask that her conservatorship be lifted has sent Twitter into overdrive. Maybe, finally, she’ll get the help she deserves.

Normally, a person being trapped for 13 official years (and probably a lot longer before that) would be enough trauma to last a lifetime. But, a little digging will tell you a lot more. The “reasons” behind the conservatorship are more than a little worrying.

And the question remains, how did this happen in the first…


When you’re a 25-year-old girl

Photo 216007920 / Beautiful Blonde © Artmim | Dreamstime.com

It was his eyes that made me stay. They were the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. Like CGI blue. They pierced into me as he stared. I sat on the pistachio coloured sofa wishing I’d not worn a polo-neck. The material was itching my neck. My pounding heart increased as he moved forward and kissed me hard on the lips.

His stubble scratched my skin. The action felt intrusive.

He sat back in his chair. I watched him. He held my gaze. His head tilted slightly to the left as if he was assessing me, inspecting me. …

Matilda Swinney

Author of The Texts Before We Met, a novelette created from the real-life text messages of an unforgettable love story. https://thegirlwhojumped.com/

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store