Understanding rimming — Rimming is one of the few things I’ve said no to in the past. And let’s be clear, when I was younger I found it challenging to say no. I was happy to try most things. This was down to a curious mind but also, unfortunately, sometimes the pressure to…

Navigating the blurry line of consent — It was my choice to flirt back. My choice to go to his hotel room. My choice to stay in the room. So, why did I feel so sick when I crept along the deserted corridor back to my room? What made me wash or dispose of everything I’d been…

Finding the joy — You know the phrase, go hard or go home? Well, it definitely applies here. What’s the point in doing something if you don’t put everything into it? A blowjob is like that. I’d rather do an excellent job and genuinely enjoy doing it or not do it all. It’s all…

There’s a lot of pressure — It’s taken me thirty years to learn how to say no. I felt a pressure to go with the flow. And strangely, I felt that everything was all my fault. If I suddenly stopped enjoying sex or changed my mind, that was my responsibility and my fault. I had no…

What am I doing wrong? — I’m confused. Like, really confused. How is it possible to workout everyday for 15 months and only lose 7 pounds? Every week, I stand on the scales at the gym, my heart pounding. I know this is the moment. It’s the day I’ve been waiting for. I tell myself the…

It’s wet, fun and totally normal — Period sex is unpredictable. Some months it’s the last thing you want to do. It’s messy, and vulnerable and intimate and wet. Really wet. Other months, all you want to be is close to your partner. The wetness is a huge turn on. You can’t wait to enjoy your extra…

Is it always a bad sign? — “You’re super dry,” he said admiringly. Erm, reverse, rewind. Just joking. No one has ever said that. Ever. There’s no awards for dryness. It’s all about how dripping wet you are and how turned on you must be. There’s no admiration for a dry vagina. It’s not featured in porn…

Spoiler alert: I knew what I wanted — I will always remember the day I decided to break my nine month sex ban. I was in a hostel in Brighton in the UK. I was staying there for a week to do an acting course. I’d just come back from seven weeks of solo-travel and a three month…

How to stop feeling like a victim. — I went to the gym a week ago and had a terrible experience. In a millisecond, I was transported back to secondary school. I was thirteen years old again. When I was thirteen I was bullied badly. I was scared to go to school. Every day I walked the twenty…